Today I prayed. Beat the hell out of me actually. The hurt of the lies she has told family and used me has been very hard for me to handle as she is my little sister and every time she rang and needed me or her kids i was there. This post describes my situation to a T. My sister is a dyed in the wool narcissist that thinks she’s the center of the Universe. It’s important to plan. Is there anything you’ve tried before that seemed to help or didn’t? Perhaps it became more apparent when my own family started treating me that way as well on a regular basis. Oldest sister was his most devoted minion and indoctrinator working on my father’s behalf, and she could do no wrong almost right up until the end. I went through a really rough time but was helped by knowing I wasn’t the first person to be betrayed this way and it wasn’t my fault.
They think others should acknowledge just how good they are regardless of whether they’ve ever done anything wrong—which, even if they did, they likely wouldn’t admit unless you “trap” them into admitting it, which can feel pretty confrontational. She took it down but she also deleted and blocked me from her public account. It must have taken her years to implement this plan, all while pretending to care about me and my family. They might think they are and that they understand themselves perfectly, but the delusion that fuels them is an inevitable barrier against any true understanding of the self. They feel they are better than most people and can only be appreciated by others they’ve deemed special too.
Things are tense and she feels I’m in the wrong for this.
The last couple of weeks have been extremely stressful for me and have included my sisters emotionally blackmailing pleas to my two sons,whom she still wants to attend her wedding although her retort to my refusal of going to the wedding was ” Im glad youre not coming ” . I believe that if we are healthy and live life to the full; if we can interdependently pursue hobbies, education, social situations, and careers vigorously with both our partners and independently then we can truly enjoy life which sets us up to best deal with conflict, as in your case with your brothers when it arises. It can be complicated: You may have to weigh whether you are really not giving the person the time they deserve or whether they are demanding undue attention out of jealousy. My youngest Sister was downright cruel to me & most of the family. I’ve been grappling with the decision to cut ties with my sister.
Realize it is going to take time to show them anything is wrong; it’s going to be slow. That definitely applies in a family context but can also apply to a friendship, where you may realize you’ve sacrificed your values for the narcissist to enact their self-belief of superiority.
Narcissists tend to be quite bad at regulating what they are feeling and may be prone to having tantrums. That was it–I turned my back on her. Bei g there with my mother and sister was surreal. How much work are you willing to do to manage the situation?
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